Invoices, sparrows and crabsticks.

So, at last he has submitted my invoice to NDDC. Wooopeee dooo!!!And he still thinks I will call him. Fool!

Dear Grey Being,

Thanks i have submitted your Proforma Invoice to them this morning our time. I will be expecting your call as you promised.

Regards,

Martin

Oh Martin, do you really think I am that silly? Do you really think I would waste my money calling you? Time for some more stalling tactics.

Good afternoon Martin

Many thanks for submitting my invoice to NDDC. I really do wish to thank you so very much for all your hard work in helping me gain this contract. Martin, you have obviously worked tirelessly to ensure that everything goes smoothly and I am eternally grateful. Your professionalism and attention to detail shine through at every stage. By the end of this deal, you will certainly have earned your commission and it will be a delight, nay a privilege for me to pay it to you. I shall also make sure that High Lord Rezillo gives you his eternal thanks in person when the time comes for the conquest.

Martin, I have tried to call you several times already today but to no avail. I tried at 9am (our time) but it just went to an answering service. I did not leave a message as I realised that due to our obvious time differences, you were probably asleep and I didn't want to wake you from your blissful, guilt free slumber. I tried again at midday but it was answered by a lady. I asked to speak to you in case it was your secretary but she said she had never heard of you. Guessing I had dialled a wrong number, I tried again. On my third attempt, a man answered and asked if I was Blue Sparrow. I asked him to repeat himself and he then asked if I had done the job as requested. I wasn't quite sure what he meant so I said no. He then started shouting at me, saying if I did not fulfil the contract then I would be the one wearing the concrete boots and swimming with the fishes. This worried me Martin as I cannot swim and am highly allergic to fish. Even the mere sniff of a crabstick is enough to bring me out in hives and leave me gasping for breath. In a panic, I hung up.

I have no idea what was going on there. I double checked the number you had given me, +234-8097068645 and it was the correct one. Do you have any idea what that was all about? Had you left your phone unattended at all Martin? You really should be careful as someone could end up running up a huge bill.

Our technical department checked our phone lines yesterday but could find no problem. We don't seem to be having much luck do we Martin?

Anyway, I am leaving the office early today. It's old Mrs Genders’ retirement party. She's been with us since the start and we want to give her a good send off. High Lord Rezillo is due to 'take' her straight after the strippers have finished. She can't get enough of those roly poly builder boys the old fox!!

Hopefully we will get to speak tomorrow Martin. I hope you get to the bottom of what is going off with your phone. That really is most disconcerting.

Once again, many thanks for all your hard work and fingers crossed the NDDC look upon my invoice favourably.

Fond regards

Grey