I still haven't heard anything from Martin so I try to goad him further. Mugu is what the scammers call their victims. It means fool. Calling them Mugu is the ultimate insult.
Dear Martin
It is too late. It is too
late
The Conquest is upon us.
High Lord Rezzillo will be
victorious
Pray for your soul mugu that he may forgive your sins
and not strike you down.
He knows what you have done.
Grey
Being
Martin
On the island of
Mugu you are the King.
King Mugu King Mugu
Prepare for
invasion.
Sadly, he doesn't bite so that is the end of a beautiful partnership. Goodbye Martin and thanks for the laughs! Time to move on and find another one :)
Wednesday 9 October 2013
Calling occupants .............
At last, I hear back from Martin. Not quite sure what he means as his grasp of English is so terrible.
Dear Grey being
I am sorry for the delay, i went for an inspection with some company.I have not been to my office since yesterday. I will visit their office tomorrow,one thing i must bring to your notice is if you cannot send your personal cell to me as your agent,that means that i will still some filling about the issue.
Send me your personal number to enable me call you during the meeting to but few wrongs in other.
Regards,
Martin
I have begun to get bored now with Martin. I think he has sussed me so I decide to just try and wind him up by being rather silly. It's time for the invasion I think! I send him the lyrics to The Carpenters song!
In your mind you have capacities you know
To telepath messages through the vast unknown
Please close your eyes and concentrate
With every thought you think
Upon the recitation we’re about to sing
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary most extraordinary craft
You’ve been observing our earth
And we’d like to make a contact with you
We are your friends
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary ultra-emissaries
We’ve been observing your earth
And one night we’ll make a contact with you
We are your friends
Calling occupants of interplanetary quite extraordinary craft
And please come on peace, we beseech you
Only a landing will teach them
Our earth may never survive
So do come, we beg you
Please interstellar policeman
Oh, won’t you give us a sign
Give us a sign that we’ve reached you
With your mind you have ability to form
And transmit thought energy far beyond the norm
You close your eyes, you concentrate
Together that’s the way
To send the message
We declare world contact day
Dear Grey being
I am sorry for the delay, i went for an inspection with some company.I have not been to my office since yesterday. I will visit their office tomorrow,one thing i must bring to your notice is if you cannot send your personal cell to me as your agent,that means that i will still some filling about the issue.
Send me your personal number to enable me call you during the meeting to but few wrongs in other.
Regards,
Martin
I have begun to get bored now with Martin. I think he has sussed me so I decide to just try and wind him up by being rather silly. It's time for the invasion I think! I send him the lyrics to The Carpenters song!
In your mind you have capacities you know
To telepath messages through the vast unknown
Please close your eyes and concentrate
With every thought you think
Upon the recitation we’re about to sing
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary most extraordinary craft
You’ve been observing our earth
And we’d like to make a contact with you
We are your friends
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary ultra-emissaries
We’ve been observing your earth
And one night we’ll make a contact with you
We are your friends
Calling occupants of interplanetary quite extraordinary craft
And please come on peace, we beseech you
Only a landing will teach them
Our earth may never survive
So do come, we beg you
Please interstellar policeman
Oh, won’t you give us a sign
Give us a sign that we’ve reached you
With your mind you have ability to form
And transmit thought energy far beyond the norm
You close your eyes, you concentrate
Together that’s the way
To send the message
We declare world contact day
Terrible spelling for a lawyer!
As nothing has been heard from Infinity Chambers, Grey sends a quick message to Peter Mark.
Dear Peter Mark
Could you please update me as to what is happening with regard to you signing the documents on our behalf. I have been off work incapacitated after an accident but I understand our solicitors Phrodite and Eunuch sent you the necessary documents.
Please update me by close of business today.
Yours sincerely
Grey Being
And Peter replies, once again questioning my phone number and asking for a mobile number instead.
Dear Grey,
It's a pitty you had an accident and I hope you are fast recovering.
When I did not hear from you, I tried calling the provided phone numbers but a woman who picked the call never seem to know anything about you. I called several times and the same thing happened.
I reported that to your agent and the NDDC, I also told them to confirm which I am sure they did and found out the same thing.
I will need your mobile number please. I cannot be using all my time for this without hearing your voice. Money is not everything. Business is all about contunity and there is no possible chance of future relationship if we do have our contacts.
Please release your mobile number to me.
Again, I have received everything I needed from you. I also post-poned the signing date when I heard you had an accident through your solicitors.
The NDDC is waiting for us to come up for the signing. The signing date is Monday, 19th August.
We can move ahead if you so wish.
Anticipating your good cooperation and understanding.
Yours faithfully,
Peter Mark (SAN)
Principal Partner
Infinity Chambers Ltd
I ignore him!
Dear Peter Mark
Could you please update me as to what is happening with regard to you signing the documents on our behalf. I have been off work incapacitated after an accident but I understand our solicitors Phrodite and Eunuch sent you the necessary documents.
Please update me by close of business today.
Yours sincerely
Grey Being
And Peter replies, once again questioning my phone number and asking for a mobile number instead.
Dear Grey,
It's a pitty you had an accident and I hope you are fast recovering.
When I did not hear from you, I tried calling the provided phone numbers but a woman who picked the call never seem to know anything about you. I called several times and the same thing happened.
I reported that to your agent and the NDDC, I also told them to confirm which I am sure they did and found out the same thing.
I will need your mobile number please. I cannot be using all my time for this without hearing your voice. Money is not everything. Business is all about contunity and there is no possible chance of future relationship if we do have our contacts.
Please release your mobile number to me.
Again, I have received everything I needed from you. I also post-poned the signing date when I heard you had an accident through your solicitors.
The NDDC is waiting for us to come up for the signing. The signing date is Monday, 19th August.
We can move ahead if you so wish.
Anticipating your good cooperation and understanding.
Yours faithfully,
Peter Mark (SAN)
Principal Partner
Infinity Chambers Ltd
I ignore him!
Solicitors and paperwork.
In the
meantime, Herma Phrodite the lawyer is still waiting for news from
Infinity Chambers. A copy of the document had been sent to Mary Okoro at
the NDDC but again, nothing had been heard back.
Herma Phrodite contacts The NDDC
Dear Mary Okoro
Could you please confirm receipt of the paperwork sent by us on behalf of They Are Amongst Us by return mail and advise us what the next step is please?
Sincere Thanks
Herma Phrodite
Phrodite and Eunuch
Solicitors at law.
Mary Okoro replies, once again wanting a phone number.
Dear Sir,
Please release your phone number. We nee to speak with someone there.
Mrs. Mary Okoro
Secretary
So Herma Phrodite replies, complete with phone number. My heartfelt apologies to a Pizza Hut in Barnsley!
Dear Mrs Mary Okoro
Our number is as follows
01226 755 969
Please feel free to contact us at your earliest convenience. As far as I am aware, we are just awaiting Mr Peter Mark from Infinity Chambers to sign the affidavit on our behalf. If this is not done promptly we shall have to assign a new company and he will forfeit his fees in this matter.
Yours sincerely
Herma Phrodite.
Phrodite and Eunuch
Solicitors at Law.
Herma Phrodite contacts The NDDC
Dear Mary Okoro
Could you please confirm receipt of the paperwork sent by us on behalf of They Are Amongst Us by return mail and advise us what the next step is please?
Sincere Thanks
Herma Phrodite
Phrodite and Eunuch
Solicitors at law.
Mary Okoro replies, once again wanting a phone number.
Dear Sir,
Please release your phone number. We nee to speak with someone there.
Mrs. Mary Okoro
Secretary
So Herma Phrodite replies, complete with phone number. My heartfelt apologies to a Pizza Hut in Barnsley!
Dear Mrs Mary Okoro
Our number is as follows
01226 755 969
Please feel free to contact us at your earliest convenience. As far as I am aware, we are just awaiting Mr Peter Mark from Infinity Chambers to sign the affidavit on our behalf. If this is not done promptly we shall have to assign a new company and he will forfeit his fees in this matter.
Yours sincerely
Herma Phrodite.
Phrodite and Eunuch
Solicitors at Law.
A much needed catch up.
I haven't updated this blog for a few months as sometimes, life just gets in the way. I am keen to wrap it up and get started on another one. Martin did eventually suss me. I did try to do one last wind up to get him angry but he didn't bite. Shame, as scammers are very funny when they get cross! Anyway, this is the end. It will come in a few parts so enjoy and thanks 'Martin' for the laughs!
So, Grey being had had an accident. Here is his explanation for being so quiet.
From Grey Being to Martin.
Dear Martin
Firstly I must apologise for being out of contact for the last week. As Helvetica informed you, I was involved in a nasty accident last week. I was travelling back from Voniaco 5 with High Lord Rezillo when the craft was struck by lightening. Thankfully we weren't too far away from landing so I only sustained a broken leg and minor burns. High Lord Rezillo managed to vaporise at the point of contact so he was fine but left me to try and explain to the police and ambulance men what had happened and where exactly we had come from. Of course when I explained, they assumed I was drunk and insisted on doing a breath test. I rarely drink Martin as I think that alcohol is the scourge of the under classes and I am far better than that. You will be pleased to hear I am on the mend and will be back at work on Monday with the aid of crutches.
My solicitor Mrs Herma Phrodite has sent the relevant paperwork to the NDDC, Infinity Chambers and to yourself but we are yet to hear anything back. I am rather worried now. I feel things have slipped somewhat in my absence and I must insist we get things back on track as soon as possible. Martin, you and I have put so much hard work into this deal and I don't want to see it fail now. Please let me know what I need to do to get things back on track again.
We seem to be waiting for Mr Peter Mark of Infinity Chambers to sign the paperwork on our behalf. Could you contact him on our behalf please if this is not too much of an inconvenience?
I hope all is well with you Martin and would like to thank you for your patience whilst I have been incapacitated.
Regards
Grey Being.
Martin does seem to be getting suspicious about Grey.
Dear Grey Being,
I was told about the accident, i am very sorry for that, i have been praying fr you that God should give you quick recovery.
Mr Grey Being, this is to bring to your notice that i have tried my best for you, but it seems you are not reliable.
{1} The telephone number you send to me is not your own, and nobody bear your name in that company.
{2} NDDC sent a form for that required my attention, a column is been specify where i will fill mt data, but you filled it without my notice.
{3} You were asked to pay some money for the lawyer to represent you at the high court to sign some documents for you, but you did not nothing.
How many do you want me to count, if you are really what you said you are,do clarify me on the above.
Regards,
Martin
Grey is most put out by Martin's accusations and emails him back.
Dear Martin
Your mail has caused me great concern. I would like to clarify your points.
1) The telephone numbers I have given you are correct. I have no idea why you are having problems connecting with me. I have tried to call you on several occasions but every time I get through, a woman answers and says she does not know you. This has made me question whether you are who you say you are. I prefer to give you the benefit of the doubt because of all the hard work you have done on our behalf. There is a lot riding on the completion of this deal for both of us. Let's not let minor details ruin it.
2) All forms sent to me by the NDDC have been filled in correctly to the best of my knowledge. I would never knowingly fill in incorrect information or attend to something that was not my duty. If I have made a clerical error, I apologise for this. At no point have the NDDC brought any errors to my attention so once again, all I can do is apologise for this.
3) Regarding the lawyer signing documents on our behalf; I completed and sent all the relevant paperwork to Mr Peter Mark at Infinity Chambers but neither I or my solicitor Mrs Herma Phrodite have yet to hear back from them. They sent a mail detailing the payments required but never followed this through with any information as to how I was to do this. I ask you Martin, how am I supposed to arrange payment if they do not reply to either us or our solicitors?
To be honest Martin, I am beginning to wonder if this deal is actually ever going to happen. You and I have put in such a lot of hard work and effort to make this happen but now the NDDC and Infinity Chambers seem to be messing us about. Do you think I may be better off choosing another attorney? Maybe I would be better off just coming to Nigeria myself to sign the documents? What worries me is that you have worked so hard on our behalf and your payment for this is in the form of commission. If the deal isn't completed then you will lose out and not get paid. That seems extremely unfair to me Martin. Do the NDDC and Infinity Chambers not understand just how much you stand to lose if they do not make sure they do things correctly from their end?
Martin, I do not know what else to say. At all times I have been honest and trustworthy and to have my integrity brought into question has upset me greatly. I am still recovering from my accident and this has knocked me for six. I shall be returning to work tomorrow and hope that it brings better news for us.
Have faith Martin and pray that High Lord Rezillo will look favourably on us all.
Regards
Grey Being
Martin doesn't reply so I send him another quick message.
Good morning Martin
I am now back at work and wondering why I have not heard from you.
Could you please update me as to what is happening?
Regards
Grey
So, Grey being had had an accident. Here is his explanation for being so quiet.
From Grey Being to Martin.
Dear Martin
Firstly I must apologise for being out of contact for the last week. As Helvetica informed you, I was involved in a nasty accident last week. I was travelling back from Voniaco 5 with High Lord Rezillo when the craft was struck by lightening. Thankfully we weren't too far away from landing so I only sustained a broken leg and minor burns. High Lord Rezillo managed to vaporise at the point of contact so he was fine but left me to try and explain to the police and ambulance men what had happened and where exactly we had come from. Of course when I explained, they assumed I was drunk and insisted on doing a breath test. I rarely drink Martin as I think that alcohol is the scourge of the under classes and I am far better than that. You will be pleased to hear I am on the mend and will be back at work on Monday with the aid of crutches.
My solicitor Mrs Herma Phrodite has sent the relevant paperwork to the NDDC, Infinity Chambers and to yourself but we are yet to hear anything back. I am rather worried now. I feel things have slipped somewhat in my absence and I must insist we get things back on track as soon as possible. Martin, you and I have put so much hard work into this deal and I don't want to see it fail now. Please let me know what I need to do to get things back on track again.
We seem to be waiting for Mr Peter Mark of Infinity Chambers to sign the paperwork on our behalf. Could you contact him on our behalf please if this is not too much of an inconvenience?
I hope all is well with you Martin and would like to thank you for your patience whilst I have been incapacitated.
Regards
Grey Being.
Martin does seem to be getting suspicious about Grey.
Dear Grey Being,
I was told about the accident, i am very sorry for that, i have been praying fr you that God should give you quick recovery.
Mr Grey Being, this is to bring to your notice that i have tried my best for you, but it seems you are not reliable.
{1} The telephone number you send to me is not your own, and nobody bear your name in that company.
{2} NDDC sent a form for that required my attention, a column is been specify where i will fill mt data, but you filled it without my notice.
{3} You were asked to pay some money for the lawyer to represent you at the high court to sign some documents for you, but you did not nothing.
How many do you want me to count, if you are really what you said you are,do clarify me on the above.
Regards,
Martin
Grey is most put out by Martin's accusations and emails him back.
Dear Martin
Your mail has caused me great concern. I would like to clarify your points.
1) The telephone numbers I have given you are correct. I have no idea why you are having problems connecting with me. I have tried to call you on several occasions but every time I get through, a woman answers and says she does not know you. This has made me question whether you are who you say you are. I prefer to give you the benefit of the doubt because of all the hard work you have done on our behalf. There is a lot riding on the completion of this deal for both of us. Let's not let minor details ruin it.
2) All forms sent to me by the NDDC have been filled in correctly to the best of my knowledge. I would never knowingly fill in incorrect information or attend to something that was not my duty. If I have made a clerical error, I apologise for this. At no point have the NDDC brought any errors to my attention so once again, all I can do is apologise for this.
3) Regarding the lawyer signing documents on our behalf; I completed and sent all the relevant paperwork to Mr Peter Mark at Infinity Chambers but neither I or my solicitor Mrs Herma Phrodite have yet to hear back from them. They sent a mail detailing the payments required but never followed this through with any information as to how I was to do this. I ask you Martin, how am I supposed to arrange payment if they do not reply to either us or our solicitors?
To be honest Martin, I am beginning to wonder if this deal is actually ever going to happen. You and I have put in such a lot of hard work and effort to make this happen but now the NDDC and Infinity Chambers seem to be messing us about. Do you think I may be better off choosing another attorney? Maybe I would be better off just coming to Nigeria myself to sign the documents? What worries me is that you have worked so hard on our behalf and your payment for this is in the form of commission. If the deal isn't completed then you will lose out and not get paid. That seems extremely unfair to me Martin. Do the NDDC and Infinity Chambers not understand just how much you stand to lose if they do not make sure they do things correctly from their end?
Martin, I do not know what else to say. At all times I have been honest and trustworthy and to have my integrity brought into question has upset me greatly. I am still recovering from my accident and this has knocked me for six. I shall be returning to work tomorrow and hope that it brings better news for us.
Have faith Martin and pray that High Lord Rezillo will look favourably on us all.
Regards
Grey Being
Martin doesn't reply so I send him another quick message.
Good morning Martin
I am now back at work and wondering why I have not heard from you.
Could you please update me as to what is happening?
Regards
Grey
Friday 9 August 2013
Introducing Phrodite and Eunuch Solicitors at Law.
I would like to introduce you to Mrs Herma Phrodite, principal partner in Phrodite and Eunuch, solicitors at law. She is the lucky lady drawing up the paperwork to assign power of attorney to Peter Mark, the Nigerian attorney. She contacts them and sends them the letter from They Are Amongst Us.
From Herma Phrodite to Infinity Chambers
Dear Sirs
We are Phrodite and Eunuch, the Solicitors at Law appointed by They Are Amongst Us to deal with the paperwork relating to the contract between themselves and the NDDC. Please find attached the documentation giving full power of attorney to yourselves in relation to signing affidavits and documents on their behalf. I am sure you will find this in order.
You will now be aware that Mr Grey Being was involved in an unfortunate accident and has been out of contact to yourselves. He is being released from hospital later today and I am sure he will be in touch in due course.
If there are any problems or you need any further information, do not hesitate to contact us. My name is Mrs Herma Phrodite and I am the person dealing with this matter.
Yours sincerely
Herma Phrodite
Here is the rubbish document I sent them.
And in reply.
Dear Sir/Ma,
Thank you for your information. Kindly let me have your contact phone number. Also make sure you send a copy of this mail to the tender board of the NDDC.
Regards,
Peter Mark
Principal Partner, Infinity Chambers Ltd
I send a copy to the NDDC and one to Martin.
Dear Mr Martin Eze
My name is Mrs Herma Phrodite and I am a partner in Phrodite and Eunuch, Solicitors at Law, appointed by They Are Amongst Us to deal with paperwork relating to the contract between themselves and the NDDC. Please find attached a copy of the document sent to Infinity Chambers giving them full power of attorney to deal with and sign affidavits and other documents on their behalf.
I understand buy now that you have been informed of Mr Grey Being's unfortunate accident. I am assured that he will be back at work by next week and available to be contacted at home on his usual email address by tomorrow. I am sure he will appreciate your understanding on this matter. If you have any queries please do not hesitate to contact either us or Mr Being's secretary.
Yours sincerely
Herma Phrodite
Martin replies but signs the email Mark. It must be hard remembering who you are supposed to be!
Dear Herma Phrodite,
It is very important you send this letter to NDDC lawyer as i have not power to represent them in signing any document on their behalf.
Ask Gery to provide the lawyer email address to you.
Regards,
Mark
From Herma Phrodite to Infinity Chambers
Dear Sirs
We are Phrodite and Eunuch, the Solicitors at Law appointed by They Are Amongst Us to deal with the paperwork relating to the contract between themselves and the NDDC. Please find attached the documentation giving full power of attorney to yourselves in relation to signing affidavits and documents on their behalf. I am sure you will find this in order.
You will now be aware that Mr Grey Being was involved in an unfortunate accident and has been out of contact to yourselves. He is being released from hospital later today and I am sure he will be in touch in due course.
If there are any problems or you need any further information, do not hesitate to contact us. My name is Mrs Herma Phrodite and I am the person dealing with this matter.
Yours sincerely
Herma Phrodite
Here is the rubbish document I sent them.
And in reply.
Dear Sir/Ma,
Thank you for your information. Kindly let me have your contact phone number. Also make sure you send a copy of this mail to the tender board of the NDDC.
Regards,
Peter Mark
Principal Partner, Infinity Chambers Ltd
I send a copy to the NDDC and one to Martin.
Dear Mr Martin Eze
My name is Mrs Herma Phrodite and I am a partner in Phrodite and Eunuch, Solicitors at Law, appointed by They Are Amongst Us to deal with paperwork relating to the contract between themselves and the NDDC. Please find attached a copy of the document sent to Infinity Chambers giving them full power of attorney to deal with and sign affidavits and other documents on their behalf.
I understand buy now that you have been informed of Mr Grey Being's unfortunate accident. I am assured that he will be back at work by next week and available to be contacted at home on his usual email address by tomorrow. I am sure he will appreciate your understanding on this matter. If you have any queries please do not hesitate to contact either us or Mr Being's secretary.
Yours sincerely
Herma Phrodite
Martin replies but signs the email Mark. It must be hard remembering who you are supposed to be!
Dear Herma Phrodite,
It is very important you send this letter to NDDC lawyer as i have not power to represent them in signing any document on their behalf.
Ask Gery to provide the lawyer email address to you.
Regards,
Mark
Grey Being has had an accident.
Helvetica Typeface, Grey's secretary has bad news for Martin. He's had an accident which is why he hasn't been in touch.
From Helvetica.
Dear Martin Eze
I am contacting you with regard to Mr Grey Being. Unfortunately, he was involved in a nasty accident late on Friday night. He was returning from Voniaco 5 with High Lord Rezillo when the craft was struck by lightening. He sustained a broken leg and minor burns and was kept in hospital. He is being allowed home today and will be returning to work next week. He will however keep updated from home until he returns.
He realises that this is rather inconvenient given the importance of your business dealings but has asked me to assure you that everything is in hand and you should be hearing from our lawyers shortly with the relevant paperwork.
Many thanks for your understanding on this matter.
Yours sincerely
Helvetica Typeface.
From Martin.
Dear Helvetica Typeface,
I am very sorry for this news, tell him that i will be praying for him for quick recovery. Meanwhile, i will be waiting to get good report from your lawyer.
Regards,
Martin
From Helvetica.
Dear Martin Eze
I am contacting you with regard to Mr Grey Being. Unfortunately, he was involved in a nasty accident late on Friday night. He was returning from Voniaco 5 with High Lord Rezillo when the craft was struck by lightening. He sustained a broken leg and minor burns and was kept in hospital. He is being allowed home today and will be returning to work next week. He will however keep updated from home until he returns.
He realises that this is rather inconvenient given the importance of your business dealings but has asked me to assure you that everything is in hand and you should be hearing from our lawyers shortly with the relevant paperwork.
Many thanks for your understanding on this matter.
Yours sincerely
Helvetica Typeface.
From Martin.
Dear Helvetica Typeface,
I am very sorry for this news, tell him that i will be praying for him for quick recovery. Meanwhile, i will be waiting to get good report from your lawyer.
Regards,
Martin
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